Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story

When ever I watch some great creation tears just come to my mind....Its purely because of the joy that I felt from the creation....Dreamer a story about a courageous little girl and her horse who pays back the courtesy of saving her life....Watch it if you have time...and I bet you'll like it....

Complication of choices....

Many people think its better to have choices in life...but for me It was not the case throughout my life.Once I had this strangest idea when I was getting ready to go out .According to my memory it was in 2002 and I was just a 20 year old...(gosh I'm old now....) At that time I had two sandals with me and when I wanted to ware a one, for few minutes my mind was stuck....I was not able to decide on one of them...At that moment of time I felt what if I had a single pair of sandals..????? No trouble what so ever just put it on go out.....Although it was a very small incident it stuck in my mind very strongly...Make your life simple and you will have more happy moments than sadder ones and you will not have to make decisions so often,because most of the time, decision is obvious...In some cases you might not get the best thing,but you will feel the damn relaxation in your life...which is for me the ultimate thing in life....

Where Do I really belong…..

Ok I’m in terrific writing mode..and god knows why….because nobody can tell when he is ready to write something it happens spontaneously……This happens today when I was on my way to the university…My bag pack was bit heavy and unfortunately there were no empty seats when I got into the bus…so I had to stand and suddenly I heard someone yelling at me “excuse me, your bag is on this lady’s face”….oops I said sorry instantly and I was really upset about that….Then all the way to the university I was wondering what would have been my reaction if I was In Sri Lanka…I’ll probably yell at the elderly gentlemen ,simply because I had no thought of harming anyone…..And mind you I always felt when bus conductors yell at school children because of their big bags, I really feel sorry about those kids….I remember asking one conductor “have you never been to school in your life” ….Gosh I have become very ,very minutely mature than what I’m used to be and I would like to experience the same thing when I go back home this December to see my reaction……But all in all it bring back a lots of memories of Sri Lanka…..The place I feel where I belongs to…….:)

Very nice song from තාරාවෝ ඉගිලෙති

සුලගින් බිත්ති තැනූ . . .
සුවදින් පිරියම් වූ . . .
මාළිගයකි මගෙ
හද දොරගුලු නැති . .
පිරී තිබේ . . .
තදබද වී . . .
ආදරේ . . .

අහසකි මගෙ හිස . .
සියොතුන් හැසිරෙන . .
සැමරුම් මේකුලු . .
අතර නිරන්තර . . .
නිදහස ඇත . . .
කාටත් පිවිසෙන්නට . . .
ඉන්න එපා එලිපත්තේ . . .
ආදරේ . . .

මුවවිට තෙක් එය . . .
ඔබෙන් පිරී ඇත . .
එනමුදු හැම විට . .
පුංචි ඉඩක් ඇත . .
තව එක් අයෙකුට . . .
පිවිසිය හැකි ලෙස . .
දොරක් වැසී . .
දොරක් ඇරේ . .
ආදරේ .

LIFE

Just like snow flakes

perched in air

trying to find

where they belong to

but is there a place

that we belong?

Just like the snow flakes

Melts down after

Receiving the warmth

Of mother earth

Attaining the perpetual pleasure………..

Heart vs Brain?

Whenever there is need to make a big decision or for that matter any decision I get entangled between heart and brain. Even when I studied Biology for my AL’s I always wondered what’s most important? But I never got that sort out. However with respect to decision making I was able to find an answer…….BRAIN…..(I wish it was the other way around)

I came to this conclusion through my experiences and seeing the world around me. To say the truth I have gained a lot observing the society around me which enabled me to shape up my life. For the records I never made a decision from my heart after 29 th of October 2003.(thank god my memory is still good….but who forget days like that…;)…)

Why do I prefer brain over heart in decision making….for me I had two simple reasons based on observations and personal experience.

1.Joy – Decisions that we take from heart give us the instantaneous pleasure and in most cases this just ware of with time.(Not always).Brain case initially they will be really tough on you…can be so tough some might not be able to bare it even. But ultimately you will be able to get the everlasting joy depending on how you approach certain matters after the initial decision.

2.Effectiveness- My personal experience is the decisions that I took from brain were highly effective, while for heart it was the other way around….This might not be 100% true because it entirely depends on the individuals and the experiences they had. In my case this logic is applicable.

I had to make some critical decisions in my life time and I still remember how I struggled with those ones when I was in my teens……But during that time I had no idea about the importance of the decisions that I made….Two most critical decisions that I made were concerning choosing my career.

1. Music vs Science

My mother has told me when she was pregnant she used to listen to a lot of Sinhalese music and even when me and my brothers were very young she used to keep us on the cot and put the radio on while she had to cope with the domestic work..(Gosh now I feel she did the toughest job in the world, handling three young boys was not an easy task at all).So as I believe that’s how my love towards music originates and music actually was my first love..(still it is ;) ).Then when I was 12 years old I had to decide on an aesthetic subject and I had less trouble on deciding that. I had a very nice time studying music (who doesn’t when you get 100% for 8 consecutive terms).Even today music is the most comfortable thing that I’m capable of doing and It comes so naturally. But when I had to choose my profession I had to forget about music....In Sri Lanka career in Music depends on a lot of factors and by looking at the current trends I’m glad I didn’t choose that. In my mind there was another pivotal thing that lingered …..who wants their first love to be their profession….Didn’t feel like earning from my love, so I went for the safer option Science where I’m certain of earning some amount of money for survival. Looking back I’m happy with my decision and glad that music is still with me unlike humans…(I’m writing while listening to my YouTube play list)

2. Medicine vs Chemistry

When I was a kid whenever I’m supposed to come up an essay on myself ,my ambition was to become a doctor .My family really wanted me to be a doctor someday although my parents never force me into anything. I had no problem with studying Biology for my AL’s and all was in the track. If I was not too careful in the chemistry paper I would have been living in the dream I had. But destiny had something else in store and I was ready for that as well..When the first time results came I missed the medical faculty by few marks (Ooops we were the first batch to get Z scores)….I had two options…Do the exam again and going to medical faculty or going to science faculty with first shy results and doing a special degree in Chemistry. If I considered the safer option it was doing the exam again and going to medical faculty, because of the immense confidence I had those days..(and my brain was at its optimum level those days, wish I can go back to that time).

Going to science faculty is one thing and doing a special degree in Chemistry is another. It mostly depends on how you perform(but for chemistry this was not the exact case as I later found out).It had no guarantee what so ever..so I had the tedious task of convincing my parents and specially my teachers about my decision…Fortunately for me I was able to keep my word and get into the special programme and now I’m really about the decision that I made that day…

Those were the two most important decisions I made by my brain..and today looking back I’m really happy about the outcome. Then when I thought I should make a decision from my heart I screwed up big time and still suffers because of that,….but there is a bright side of that as well…..If we are wise enough those screw-up’s can be used to enhance our understanding of life and facing real challenges out there….But for that we need the brains..Whenever heart interferes it becomes unbearable.

In coming few months I’ll be facing another tough decision and as in any case there is panic. But knowing myself better than anyone I know I can handle this. The battle between heart and the brain will start soon and with what I have seen It will be a tough battle….I need wisdom more than ever….

But one thing....the decisions that we take from heart are spontaneous and pure. Brain we will go for the right decision most of the time but sometimes it may not be pure…If there is a choice between pure and impure there is no brainstorm about what we decide..Unfortunately I had to go other way round (that doesn’t mean brain decisions are always impure)…So if I can wish for something I will go for a society that everyone can make decisions by their heart..Because that’s essential for the survival of Humanity…..

And the amount of humanity that we have in these days is not enough at all for my liking……

I’m waiting for a day that I can make a decision by heart……J…to prove my own theory wrong…..Right now I’m bit confused…but hope it’ll not be for so long….