A tribute to all the fathers of the world.....

Should I call you
The sun or the moon
Or a lamp or star
My darling son will
Bring glory to my name

I longed for somebody
To play in my home
Take all my joys away
For one innocent smile
Holding you close feels
Like the world is in my arms
My darling son will
Bring glory to my name

Today I hold your finger
And teach you to walk
Tomo...rrow you must hold
My hand when I have grown old
In you I have found
A reason to live
My darling son will
Bring glory to my name

maa - tare zameen par

I never, do tell you,
But I am frightened by the darkness, mother
Usually I, don't show,
But I do care about you, mother
You know it all, isn't it mother?
You know it all, my mother.

Don't leave me like this in the crowd
Such that I am not able to come back to the home.
Don't send me so far
Such that you don't remember about me at all.
Am I that bad, mother?
That bad... my mother?

Whenever... father...
Quickly... swing me, mother...
My eyes... seek for you...
I do think this... you will come to hold me, mother...
I don't... tell him this...
But I do... get scared, mother
On the face... I don't let this come
In the heart... I get frightened, mother
You know it all, isn't it mother?
You know it all, my mother.

I never, do tell you,
But I am frightened by the darkness, mother
Usually I, don't show,
But I do care about you, mother
You know it all, isn't it mother?
You know it all, my mother.

අපිට සමාජයෙ හිමි කොතැනද?......

මේ ළගදි මම සුහද කත බහක ඉන්න වෙලාවක මට මාර කල කිරීමක් ඇති උනා සමාජය ගැන....මිනිස්සු තවම බාහිර ස්වරූපය මත එකිනෙකා කිරා මනින්න පුරුදු වෙලා ඉන්න එක මේ සම්මජ්ජාතියෙවත් මග හරින එකක් නම් නැහැ... තමුන්ගෙ ජීවිතෙ හරි හමන් විදියට කිරා මැන ගන්න බැරි මිනිස්සු අනිත් අයලුන්ගෙ ජීවිත කිරන්න මනින්න යන එක මට තේරුම් ගන්න අපහසු කාරණාවක්....සමාජයෙ සම්මත හොඳ පුද්ගල අර්ථකථනය තනිකරම බාහිර ස්වරූපය මත තීරනය වෙන අබුද්දස්ස කාලෙක තමය් අපිට අවාසනවන්ත විදියට ජීවත් වෙන්න වෙලා තියෙන්නෙ... මනුස්සයෙක් හොඳ පුද්ගල වර්ගීකරනයට අහුවෙන්න බොලිවුඩ් පෙනුමක් නැත්නම් මේ සම්මජ්ජතියෙවත් බැහැ.... පුදුමෙ කියන්නෙ මම දැන් ඉන්න ඇමරිකාවෙ මීට වඩා බොහොම පුලුල් දැක්මක් මේ ගැන තියෙන්නෙ... හොඳ කියල සමාජ සම්මත හදා ගත්ත අපෙ සමාජයම අද බහු බූත මිනුම් වලින් මිනිස්සු කිරා බලනවා...මනුස්සකම කියන එක වල පල්ලට ගියත් මොකද දිලිසි දිලිසි ඉන්නවනම්... මනුස්සකම කඩෙන් ගන්න කාලයක් ළගදිම උදා වෙය් කියලය් මට නම් හිතෙන්නෙ....මොකද ඒක සිල්ලර තත්වයට ඇද දාන්න මිනිස්සුම කරන අපරාද අතිමහත් ...මම සමාජය ගැන ගොඩක් දේවල් දන්නවා කියල හිතා ගෙන හිටියට මම තම දැකල තියෙන්නෙ සමාජයෙ එක පැතිකඩක් විතරය් කියල මට සමහර වෙලාවට හිතෙනවා... මම නොදන්නා පැතිකඩ ගැන ඉගෙන ගන්න මට කාලයක් තිබ්බනම් කියල වෙලාවකට හිතෙනවා...නමුත් ඔය විකාර ගැන හිතනවට වඩා ඔය බහුබූත මිනුම් වලින් අපිව මනින සමාජයට යමක් දෙන්න අපෙ කාලය වැය කලොත් එක අපෙ හිතට සනීපයක් වත් ලබා දෙය් කවදා හරි... ඒක හින්ද මම මේක ලියන එක අදට නවත්තලා අපිටම ගරහන්න බලන් ඉන්න සමාජයට හිතදාය් යමක් කරන්න මගේ පර්යේෂණයට අඳාළ වැඩක් කරන්න යනවා....මටම බුදු සරණය්,දෙවි පිහිටය්.... :)

Thode Badmash from Saawariya

This song from hindi movie Saawariya is a great creation simply because of the fact that it summarizes the entire story line of the movie into 3 minute masterpiece.One of my all time favourite movies and singer Shreya Goshal's voice is amazingly beautiful in this piece.
Enjoy and just feel it....

Saawariya -Cinematic Poetry

Searching for the perfection ...

When I was a kid growing up I always wanted things to be perfect....but this habit deviated a bit during my time at the university,specially work related to academia. But still I was looking for something perfect..that was someone to share my life with.I wanted that to be perfect and thought that would be really easy.Oh boy it took me sometime to realize that I'm stuck in a big fantasy.

Still remember the episode that I had in 2003,and that pain was with me more than six years and I never thought I would be able to get over that.But I always thought,that I will never allow that to interfere my future life even in a meniscus amount.Throughout the early period of this year I went over this question that are there perfect matches ??It was a thousand dollar question and I seriously thought the answer would be a big "NO"...this made me somewhat vulnerable and put me into a rather confused state of mind...

I had few rough weeks emotionally,but I was able to sort that out pretty well and at the end of all these things ..Probably I must have found "THE ONE" I was looking for.....I do have some faith on horoscopes and so but never wanted to rely my entire life upon them....But this incident increased my faith towards them as we went for the highest compatibility and I believe I got the highest compatibility as well... So at last there are perfect things in this life as well... (I hope I can write the same thing in few years time and i'm good with gut feelings..and it says I'll write the same )

Just a small conversation has grown up towards a long lasting bond and involvement of just the thoughts made this more intriguing...so life seems perfect and I feel really relaxed although this means start of whole a lot of responsibilities.....Lets see how everything works out during the course of time....as always all the best to me... :)

නිකං මේ හිතෙනවට. from Abnormal minds blog.......

මිනිසුන් මනින දඩු:-

ඇදුමින්..
පැළදුමින්..
හිනාවෙන්..
උසින්..
මහතින්..
කෙට්ටුවෙන්..
කථාවෙන්..
බැලිල්ලෙන්..
ඇසිල්ලෙන්..
ගෙදර සයිස් එකෙන්..
වාහනෙන්..
මොබයිල් එකෙන්..
රස්සාවෙන්..
පරස්ථාවෙන්..
කෑමෙන්..
බීමෙන්..
ජාතියෙන්..
ආගමෙන්..
කුලෙන්..
etc..

ඔය කොයි මිමෙන් මැන්නත්.. මිනිහෙක් මිනිහෙක්ව මනින්නේ තමන්ට සාපේකෂව..
යටි හිත කියනවා.. මම මෙහෙමයිනේ.. ඒක හින්දා මූත් එහෙම වෙන්න ඇති
මම මේ වගේ උනාට මූනම් මට වඩා වෙනස් හින්දා මූ අර වගේ වෙන්න ඇති
හැමදේම සාපේකෂයි..
තමුන් කවුද කියලා 100%ක් නොදන්න අපි
අනුන් ගැන චරිත සහතික දෙනවා..
සහතිකේ ලියවෙන්නේ අපේ අකුරු වලින් නිසා
කෙ‍නාගෙන් කෙනාට අත්අකුරු වෙනස් නිසා
අපි ලියන සහතිකේ අකුරුත් වෙනස් හැඩ ගන්නවා..
හරියට අන්ධයෝ 7 දෙනා අලියව විස්තර කලා වගේ තමා
ඇස් කන් සේරම ඇරිලත් තාම අඩුම ගානේ
තමුන්ට තමුන්ව වත් අදුන ගන්න බැරි එකේ
කොහොමද වෙන ‍මිනි‍හෙක් මේ වගේ කියන්නේ..
ඒ වුනාට ඇහුවොත් නම් කියවයි මෙයා මෙහෙමයි
මෙයා මෙහෙමයි කියලා..
හැබැයි ඒ එළියට එන වචන වල එන්නේ
තම තමන්ගේ හිත් ඇතුලේ තියන කුණු ගද කියලා
කියන අයම දන්නේ නැතුව ඇති.
අවසානෙදි මිනිස්සු මනින්න මිණුම් දණ්ඩක් නෑ..
ඒත්
එක හැගීමක් තියනවා ‍ඔය කොයි කවුරුත්
එකට බැදලා තියන්න පුළුවන්.
ඒ තමයි ආ‍දරේ.
සමහර විට අනිත් අයගේ හිත් වල තියන දේ
තමන්‍ට නොතේරෙන්න පුළුවන්..
ඇත්තෙන්ම තමන් රැවටෙනවා වෙන්නත් පුළුවන්
හැමදේම අවිනිශ්චිතයි
ඒත් ආදරේ ආදරේ සදාකාලිකයි..
කාට හරි කියන්න පුළුවන්
සදාකාලික නොවු ලොකේ සදාකාලික ආදරයක් කොයින්ද කියලා..
ඔව් නෑ තමයි.. ඒත් තමන් තමන්ගේ හිතේ තියන ආදරය විශ්වාස කරන තුරු
ඔය කොයි දේත් අමතක කරලා
ළග ඉන්න කෙනාව ආදරෙන් වැළද ගන්න
පුළුවන් වේවි..

මම මට පුළුවන් උපරිමයෙන් එහෙම කරන්න උත්සහ කරනවා
අනේ අනිත් අයත් එහෙම කරන දවස ඉක්මනින් ආවොත්
අපි හැමෝටම ආයෙත් හිනා වෙන්න පුළුවන් වෙයි.

සින්දු fun

ගොඩක් දවසකින් ලියන්න හම්බ වුනෙ නැති නිසා පොඩි සටහනක් දාන්න හිතුනා.....පහු ගිය දවස් ටිකෙ මනො විකාර වගයක් බල බල හිටපු නිසා ලියන්න වත් වෙලාවක් තිබුනෙ නැහැ.... මගෙ ආසම සින්දුවක් තමයි රොහාන් බුලෙගොඩ කියන "එක් පෙති මලක් " කියන සින්දුව....බන්දුල නානායක්කාරවසම් ලියපු ඒ සින්දුව අහපු පලවෙනි පාරම මට ඇහැට මාර කදුලු ගොඩක් ආව...එකෙ පද රචනාව කියා ගන්න බරි තමටම මිහිරියි.....මම රස විදින ඔනම නිර්මානයක් මගෙම කර ගෙන අහන්න හරිම ආසයි.... මෙ සින්දුවෙ දෙවෙනි අන්තරා එක හරිම ලස්සනයි "සිටිනා කොදෙව්වක ඔබ සැප විදී නම් මවෙතින් ලබුනු ආදරයත් ලැබේ නම් මතකය ඔබට හිරිහරයක් නොවේ නම් තව කුමකටද දුක් ගී කල්පනාවන්" ඔය සිදුවෙ මට අදාල කරගන්න බැරි පොඩි පරහකට තිබ්බෙ මවෙතින් ලැබුනු ආදරයත් කියන කෑල්ල...මොකද කියන ව නම් මගෙ කතාවෙ මම ඇතුලෙ කොච්චර ආදරයක් තියන් හිටියද කියල අනිත් පැත්තෙ කෙනා දැන ගෙන හිටියෙ නති එකයි....:) නමුත් ඒක මාර ම එකක් කියල මට දැනුනෙ එයා මට හම්බ වෙන්නෙ නැහැ කියල දැන ගත්තටත් පස්සෙ....අත්තම කියන ව නම් යාලු වෙන්න කලින් කෙල්ලොන්ට ආදරය කරන එක තරන් ගොන් කමක් මේ ලොකේ නැහැ කියල තමයි අද මට හිතෙන්නෙ... හැබයි ඉතින් සිටිනා කොදෙව්වක නුබ සැප විදී නම් කෑල්ලනම් මම හැම දාම වගෙ හිතන දෙයක්...එක කාටවත් පැහදිලි කරල දෙන්න අමාරු තරමටම complex .... අන්තිම පෙලිය තව කුමකටද දුක් ගී කල්පනාවන් කියන එක හeමදාම කරන්න ඔන කියල හිතුවට මොකද කරන්න හරිම අමාරු දෙයක්.... මොනව කරන්නද දුක තමයි කියල අල්ලන් ඉන්න තියෙන්නෙ.... :) එත් ඉතින් ජීවිතය එන විදියකට මූන දීල සතුටින් ඉන්න එකට මේවා බාදාවක් කර ගන්න නම් හොද නැහ... අදට ඇති වගෙ

From දුකා's blog.....really nice.....

සසර පුරා දිගු ගමනක් යන්නට . . .

අත්වැල කනවැල වෙමි මම දවසක . . .

දුක්විඳි පෙර කල සිහිනයක්ම මැයි. . .

සතුටු සිනා ඇත්තේ හෙට පෙර මඟ . . .

ළමා ළපැටියන් දෑතින් අල්ලා . . .

සිනා සිසී අපි යමු ඒ මල් මඟ . . .

බැඳුනේ දෑඟිලි දෙගුරුන් අසිරින් . . .

වැලපෙන්නට නොව මේ ලෙස ළසොවින් . . .

මා . . ද ඔබම වන . . . ඔබද මා. . ම වන . .

අපට අපව අපි . . . අප ලෙස දැකි හැකි . . .

සිනා පිරි හදින් දවසක් අරඹන . . .

දවස කොයි තරම් දුරකද කිව මැන . . . !

Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story

When ever I watch some great creation tears just come to my mind....Its purely because of the joy that I felt from the creation....Dreamer a story about a courageous little girl and her horse who pays back the courtesy of saving her life....Watch it if you have time...and I bet you'll like it....

Complication of choices....

Many people think its better to have choices in life...but for me It was not the case throughout my life.Once I had this strangest idea when I was getting ready to go out .According to my memory it was in 2002 and I was just a 20 year old...(gosh I'm old now....) At that time I had two sandals with me and when I wanted to ware a one, for few minutes my mind was stuck....I was not able to decide on one of them...At that moment of time I felt what if I had a single pair of sandals..????? No trouble what so ever just put it on go out.....Although it was a very small incident it stuck in my mind very strongly...Make your life simple and you will have more happy moments than sadder ones and you will not have to make decisions so often,because most of the time, decision is obvious...In some cases you might not get the best thing,but you will feel the damn relaxation in your life...which is for me the ultimate thing in life....

Where Do I really belong…..

Ok I’m in terrific writing mode..and god knows why….because nobody can tell when he is ready to write something it happens spontaneously……This happens today when I was on my way to the university…My bag pack was bit heavy and unfortunately there were no empty seats when I got into the bus…so I had to stand and suddenly I heard someone yelling at me “excuse me, your bag is on this lady’s face”….oops I said sorry instantly and I was really upset about that….Then all the way to the university I was wondering what would have been my reaction if I was In Sri Lanka…I’ll probably yell at the elderly gentlemen ,simply because I had no thought of harming anyone…..And mind you I always felt when bus conductors yell at school children because of their big bags, I really feel sorry about those kids….I remember asking one conductor “have you never been to school in your life” ….Gosh I have become very ,very minutely mature than what I’m used to be and I would like to experience the same thing when I go back home this December to see my reaction……But all in all it bring back a lots of memories of Sri Lanka…..The place I feel where I belongs to…….:)

Very nice song from තාරාවෝ ඉගිලෙති

සුලගින් බිත්ති තැනූ . . .
සුවදින් පිරියම් වූ . . .
මාළිගයකි මගෙ
හද දොරගුලු නැති . .
පිරී තිබේ . . .
තදබද වී . . .
ආදරේ . . .

අහසකි මගෙ හිස . .
සියොතුන් හැසිරෙන . .
සැමරුම් මේකුලු . .
අතර නිරන්තර . . .
නිදහස ඇත . . .
කාටත් පිවිසෙන්නට . . .
ඉන්න එපා එලිපත්තේ . . .
ආදරේ . . .

මුවවිට තෙක් එය . . .
ඔබෙන් පිරී ඇත . .
එනමුදු හැම විට . .
පුංචි ඉඩක් ඇත . .
තව එක් අයෙකුට . . .
පිවිසිය හැකි ලෙස . .
දොරක් වැසී . .
දොරක් ඇරේ . .
ආදරේ .

LIFE

Just like snow flakes

perched in air

trying to find

where they belong to

but is there a place

that we belong?

Just like the snow flakes

Melts down after

Receiving the warmth

Of mother earth

Attaining the perpetual pleasure………..

Heart vs Brain?

Whenever there is need to make a big decision or for that matter any decision I get entangled between heart and brain. Even when I studied Biology for my AL’s I always wondered what’s most important? But I never got that sort out. However with respect to decision making I was able to find an answer…….BRAIN…..(I wish it was the other way around)

I came to this conclusion through my experiences and seeing the world around me. To say the truth I have gained a lot observing the society around me which enabled me to shape up my life. For the records I never made a decision from my heart after 29 th of October 2003.(thank god my memory is still good….but who forget days like that…;)…)

Why do I prefer brain over heart in decision making….for me I had two simple reasons based on observations and personal experience.

1.Joy – Decisions that we take from heart give us the instantaneous pleasure and in most cases this just ware of with time.(Not always).Brain case initially they will be really tough on you…can be so tough some might not be able to bare it even. But ultimately you will be able to get the everlasting joy depending on how you approach certain matters after the initial decision.

2.Effectiveness- My personal experience is the decisions that I took from brain were highly effective, while for heart it was the other way around….This might not be 100% true because it entirely depends on the individuals and the experiences they had. In my case this logic is applicable.

I had to make some critical decisions in my life time and I still remember how I struggled with those ones when I was in my teens……But during that time I had no idea about the importance of the decisions that I made….Two most critical decisions that I made were concerning choosing my career.

1. Music vs Science

My mother has told me when she was pregnant she used to listen to a lot of Sinhalese music and even when me and my brothers were very young she used to keep us on the cot and put the radio on while she had to cope with the domestic work..(Gosh now I feel she did the toughest job in the world, handling three young boys was not an easy task at all).So as I believe that’s how my love towards music originates and music actually was my first love..(still it is ;) ).Then when I was 12 years old I had to decide on an aesthetic subject and I had less trouble on deciding that. I had a very nice time studying music (who doesn’t when you get 100% for 8 consecutive terms).Even today music is the most comfortable thing that I’m capable of doing and It comes so naturally. But when I had to choose my profession I had to forget about music....In Sri Lanka career in Music depends on a lot of factors and by looking at the current trends I’m glad I didn’t choose that. In my mind there was another pivotal thing that lingered …..who wants their first love to be their profession….Didn’t feel like earning from my love, so I went for the safer option Science where I’m certain of earning some amount of money for survival. Looking back I’m happy with my decision and glad that music is still with me unlike humans…(I’m writing while listening to my YouTube play list)

2. Medicine vs Chemistry

When I was a kid whenever I’m supposed to come up an essay on myself ,my ambition was to become a doctor .My family really wanted me to be a doctor someday although my parents never force me into anything. I had no problem with studying Biology for my AL’s and all was in the track. If I was not too careful in the chemistry paper I would have been living in the dream I had. But destiny had something else in store and I was ready for that as well..When the first time results came I missed the medical faculty by few marks (Ooops we were the first batch to get Z scores)….I had two options…Do the exam again and going to medical faculty or going to science faculty with first shy results and doing a special degree in Chemistry. If I considered the safer option it was doing the exam again and going to medical faculty, because of the immense confidence I had those days..(and my brain was at its optimum level those days, wish I can go back to that time).

Going to science faculty is one thing and doing a special degree in Chemistry is another. It mostly depends on how you perform(but for chemistry this was not the exact case as I later found out).It had no guarantee what so ever..so I had the tedious task of convincing my parents and specially my teachers about my decision…Fortunately for me I was able to keep my word and get into the special programme and now I’m really about the decision that I made that day…

Those were the two most important decisions I made by my brain..and today looking back I’m really happy about the outcome. Then when I thought I should make a decision from my heart I screwed up big time and still suffers because of that,….but there is a bright side of that as well…..If we are wise enough those screw-up’s can be used to enhance our understanding of life and facing real challenges out there….But for that we need the brains..Whenever heart interferes it becomes unbearable.

In coming few months I’ll be facing another tough decision and as in any case there is panic. But knowing myself better than anyone I know I can handle this. The battle between heart and the brain will start soon and with what I have seen It will be a tough battle….I need wisdom more than ever….

But one thing....the decisions that we take from heart are spontaneous and pure. Brain we will go for the right decision most of the time but sometimes it may not be pure…If there is a choice between pure and impure there is no brainstorm about what we decide..Unfortunately I had to go other way round (that doesn’t mean brain decisions are always impure)…So if I can wish for something I will go for a society that everyone can make decisions by their heart..Because that’s essential for the survival of Humanity…..

And the amount of humanity that we have in these days is not enough at all for my liking……

I’m waiting for a day that I can make a decision by heart……J…to prove my own theory wrong…..Right now I’m bit confused…but hope it’ll not be for so long….

Understanding the cultures

I'm a person who grew up in suburban places around beautiful Kandy,Sri Lanka,where culture played a big part in shaping up my life.Sri Lanka where we boast of a culture of more than 2500 years and a proud history of countless years always cherished it.United Sates a country with unique cultural aspects and quite a blend of friendly people boast of rich cultural aspects as well.Those things are unique to Americans and they are really proud about them as well.

I had the opppurtunity of meeting up with some of the expat Sri Lankans living here in US,where I thought many people are in kind of a dilemma to decide on what culture they belong to.Specially among the second generation expat Sri Lankans do not have a slightest of idea about the rich history and culture back home(I wonder how many will like to call Sri Lanka home)...With all due respect to English language,I always believe Sinhala was far superior than English..(I might be bit biased on this,my Sinhalese is far far better than my English skills)....but I rarely see second generation of expat Sri Lankans conversing in Sinhalese.Many of their parents want them to converse in Sinhalese,but as I feel Its up to the parents to have the initiative and encourage their young ones.

I always was really upset about the attitude of some of Sri Lankans towards the sinhala language,while they worship the English.Most of them will loudly say words "son of a bitch" in society with out thinking twice...that's alright for us because it is in English..but imagine how many will have the guts to yell out the pure sinhala meaning of those words???(of course I can do it here coz no one will understand it)....And I wonder what will be the situation If we are going to use the F word in sinhalese,with the frequency that it is used here.

Alcohol is an integral part of the Western cultures and I have nothing against it.Sri Lanka do have a worse record of alcohol consumption even with the religious background that we have back home.For me a person who drinks what ever foreign liquor at Hilton Colombo and a person who drinks Kasippu at some rural village are at the same level.And mind you at this rate number of girls drinking alcohol will surely exceed the number of boys in few years time in Sri Lanka.I don't know if it is something to smile or cry.....one reason most people do this is to move along with the so called high society....give me a break...why cant we have that villager who consumed kasippu to that society as well....

As far as I see we are entangled in between few cultures and most people are unable to sort out where they really belong.....might be a disadvantage of globalization...just a thought.....